Confessions

A lot has been written about me, so I thought I'd set everything straight here:

1. I don't have a license, but I am a plumber. Plumber is my last name.
2. I don't pay the taxes I owe. So McCain's tax cut won't help me.
3. I'm the most famous of the 3 famous and 1 infamous Joes - Joe the Plumber, Joe Six Pack, Joe Biden and the infamous Joe Leiberman.
4. I support Obama now. With Obama's tax cut, my average customer will be better off and will be able to pay me.

Another question for O'bama

I've been thinking...with a name like O'bama, shouldn't you look more Irish?

Why McCain is better for the economy?

Many people have asked if I think of McCain can handle the financial crisis better than Obama. I think he can. Here is why:

1. During the primaries McCain admitted that economics is something he does not understand. So he bought Greenspan's book. Now that he has the book, he can fix the economy. Obama doesn't even claim to have Greenspan's book.

2. Buffett who knows a lot about money and about the economy is advising Obama. He's doing that because Obama needs the help and McCain does not.

Really, I'm suprised that Obama wouldn't spend $12 to buy Greenspan's book so that he can fix the economy.

What Obama does not say

I've met Obama and I should tell you this about what he says:

1. He always points out that McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time. He hides the fact that McCain did not vote with Bush 10% of the time. That is what makes McCain a Maverick.

2. Obama makes it look like McCain's idea to take away health care that costs a company $10,000 per person and giving everyone $5,000 is bad. It actually lets companies save $10,000 per employee and gives each person $5,000 - so the whole country gains $15,000 per person. Finding win-win situations like this is what let McCain get 13 houses compared to Obama's one.

Why I'm a better plumber for you

I thought I should let everyone know why I'm a better plumber for them:

1. I am rich and McCain will cut my taxes. I can pass along my savings to you and give you a better rate than plumbers who are not rich.

2. Since I will be less expensive than other plumbers, I will get all their business. Then I can hire the other plumbers to work for me. That will create jobs, which is very important in this economy.

I support John McCain

I support John McCain. Here is why:

1. Obama said I'm rich. McCain said congratulations, I'll give you a tax cut.

2. McCains' tax cut will let me buy the business I work in. Then I can create jobs. If I don't buy this busines I cannot create jobs. It will be my boss who creates those jobs, not me.

3. I've worked super hard - 12 hour days for years. Now I want to be super rich. That's the American dream. Obama's 'redistribute the wealth' policy won't help me. The 'spread the losses' policy will. I want to borrow a gazillion dollars and have a million locations all over Ohio. That will make me super rich. If it doesn't work, the government needs to bail me out.

4. McCain is going give everyone a $5,000 credit to buy their own insurance. That will save me $10,000 per employee.

5. McCain will make a better client for my plumbing business than Obama. McCain has 13 houses and Obama has only 1. So McCain has more bathrooms. McCain didn't know how many houses he has. He may not know how many bathrooms he has. I might be able to charge for leaking toilets that don't exist.

Welcome

I'm Joe the plumber from Ohio*. I am rich. Please join John McCain in congratulating me.




* not the real Joe the plumber from Ohio.